So, I found an old journal of mine dating from December 2003-February 2006. Lot's of journal-esque print. Some of it completely uninteresting. I did, however, find two blurbs I wrote on women at the time. Now, both of these could come off as a bit misogynistic, but it came from the heart and was unedited. I probably got pissed at a girl who blew me off or something...who knows. Anyway, enjoy it in two parts. This first one is called, "My Manifesto on the Complex, annoying world of dating women."
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This is my manifesto on the complex, annoying world of women:
-Always try to make a girl smile. Not forced, but genuine. It's really not that hard.
-Always smile back when they smile at you. A wave is doing a bit too much, unless she waves at you firs.
-Never trust a girl with a raspy voice. Unless, for some reason, you're into that.
-Don't always go for the tall, skinny chick or the most obvious choice. Chances are she's a dullard, and you might miss someone cooler. Stare your eyeballs out at her though. Avoid seeming creepy.
-Tip well when you go out, cheapskate! Any man who drops $100 on dinner and leaves a $5 tip is a selfish prick, and women catch on to that quickly.
-Ask more questions than you answer, even if she's boring.
-Test her level of humor by making an inappropriate joke and gauging her reaction. Apologize for the joke if she's smart and interesting. Tell more if she's a dullard.
-Suggest dancing as a second date. If she's conservative, ask her for coffee...or better yet, don't date her.
-Never kiss on the first date unless she really wants to. Make her believe that getting ass is not that important to you, even though it is.
-Don't ever play video games in front of a girl, EVER. No SportsCenter either, douchebag. Girls are allergic to these things.
-Don't ask the "are you bisexual" question until long after a comfortable friendship has been established. In case the answer is "yes", you don't want to blow it by jumping the gun.
-When you do get some action, give more than you receive. You want to get her hooked early so she comes back for more. Repeat business is essential.
-Always compliment women, even if they say they don't like them. They're lying.
-Always suggest 3 things to do on a date. If things are going well, you won't even notice the time pass.
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