Buenos Aires Pub Crawl.

With a face full of pizza, awkwardly holding a beer in a plastic cup, surrounded by strangers, it's hard to predict what to expect. You've gathered at a park in Palermo, signed in, chatted a bit, and loaded yourself with the much-needed sustenance for the night of drinking ahead. How does this work? Who are these people? And am I going to have fun? Two hours later, as you give a group cheers to the bartender and slam down a neon-blue shot with 20 people, it all makes sense. You are on a pub crawl.

The Buenos Aires Pub Crawl was started by Dustin Walsh, Jeremy ( ), and Miguel ( ). Their moto is to "live the dash". In other words, as they explain, the dash is what goes on your gravestone before your birth and death. The concept is to enjoy the time you have to its fullest, because when you die, the dash has already eclipsed.

Though it's a brand new venture in Buenos Aires, the Buenos Aires Pub Crawl has found success in its simplicity. They find the bars that will fit their clientele, offer a controlled social atmosphere, drink discounts, pizza, and most importantly provide a good time. The concept on the business end is simple: Bring customers to bars (10-40 people) in exchange for a round of free shots, happy-hour discounts, and consistancy. Once the pub crawl chooses the bars, they come back week-to-week, only rotating the order of bars. For the pub crawler, all you need to worry about is your $50 peso crawl fee, and the rest is in the hands of the organizers.

The first thing I noticed as an honorary crawler for the night is how outwardly friendly people are. From working in bars for so many years, I understand that this has a lot to do with alcohol. However, there truly is a sense of comeradery with these type of events. No one goes on a pub crawl to be a fly on the wall. We're all foreigners, mostly new to the city, and looking to be social. A few blue shots and 2 for 1 Fernets later, and you're practically best friends. Or at least that's how you feel, and that's the goal.

So far, the crawl operates 3 nights a week. Thursday nights in Palermo, and Friday and Saturday nights in San Telmo. I went on the Thursday night crawl. There were about 20 crawlers and 7 employees. We went to 3 bars, and finished the night at a club, or boliche, as they call it here. The bars were cool, and very different from each other.

The first bar, 8077, was more of a lounge, with art-deco influenced furniture, white linen-covered chairs, and an L-shaped loft. The next bar, Tazz, felt like a hybrid Argentine/American pub. It had high ceilings and a long bar which stretched almost half of the length of the entire place. The theme here was beer, beer, and more beer. Once again, opening up with the obligatory free mixed shot. You could see some of the less seasoned drinkers getting a bit tipsy. I met some cool guys from Philly, so I knew I was with a crew who could power on. Next stop, Sullivan's Irish Pub. Thankfully there were tables and chairs. Surprisingly we hadn't lost anybody. The whole group was in tact, and at long last we powered through to our final destination, Limbo Club, which was packed and steamy. It had been raining heavily for the past hour.

By this time, honestly, I'm surprised half of these kids were still alive. Hence all of the pizza and empanadas before the tour starts. Going to 4 bars in 4 hours may seem like child's play, but it's not. It's important to pace yourself, eat, and cut yourself off if you need to. The craw hosts want you to have a good time, but they are insistant on being somewhat responsible. Once you puke, fight, fall down, you've not only wrecked your night, but you just became a 20-person buzz kill. Bottom line, don't be that guy/girl.

You can get more info on the Buenos Aires Pub Crawl through their website www.pubcrawlba.com . Check in regularly as they are constantly expanding their tours and opening up in new neighborhoods. Cheers.

BA Soccer Guide

The Brazilians famously dubbed it "the beautiful game" (el jogo bonito). It's the world's most popular diversion, and it's played, watched and followed by milions of people. What's known as "soccer" in the US, "futbol" in Latin America, "football" in the UK, and "calcio" in Italy, is for more than just a sport in Argentina. It represents something deeper here. In a country where change is constant and there's a palpable fear of instability, soccer is the one thing that remains the same. Its simplicity is part of its attraction. All you need is a ball, two goals, a few players, and a flat surface.

In Buenos Aires, soccer is followed like a religion. According to wikipedia, the city has more professional teams, 24, than any other city in the world. Teams represent neighborhoods rather than cities, and although not mutually exclusive, fan bases are built around where you grew up rather than where you currently live. Often times, it's hereditary. You're a fan because your father was a fan, and his father was a fan, and so on.

If you've never lived in a soccer-crazed country the level of fanaticism in Buenos Aires can sometimes be confusing, or downright shocking, even for the most avid sports fan. Stadiums are known for flare bombs, singing, taunting, and even the occasional clash with local police. If this seems a bit intimidating, there's always the pick-up matches in the park for fun, or enjoying a pro match on television.

If you want to go to a pro match, there's a few things you should keep in mind:

Transportation: Games are usually held on weekend evenings, which makes it easy to get to the game. If you take public transportation, avoid buses near stadiums. The buses are mobbed by fans before and after the games, and it's impossibly crowded and noisy. They sing for the whole ride, hang out of the windows, and bang on the ceiling and walls. If you've got no where to go, this is extremely fun, but the driver often misses stops, and chances are you will be tossed around a bit by the jumping and dancing.

Neighborhoods: Depending on the team, some neighborhoods where the team plays can be a bit shady, or industrial. There is always a strong police presence in the few blocks surrounding the stadium, but don't wander around looking for a local tour. Even in La Boca, the home of Boca Juniors, Argentina's most popular team, you have to be careful where you're walking and who you ask for directions. Caminito is nice, but outside of that area, be a bit more cautious.

Stadium: Before entering the stadium, put your money in a safe place, don't carry bags or purses if avoidable, and if you bring your camera, keep it in an inside pocket. Inside a professional Argentine soccer stadium is like nothing you'll see in the States or most of western Europe. The field is surrounded by an 8 to 12 foot moat, with a short barbed-wire fence on the perimeter. This is to keep you from running onto the field. The stands are usually divided into two levels, upper and lower. Upper level seats are a bit more expensive ($25-$35 pesos), and lower level seats are cheaper ($15-$18 pesos). If you're looking for a rush, hit the lower level. This is where the wildest and most vocal fans sit. They sing and chant their way through the entire match, using props, signs, flare bombs, and confetti to illustrate their point. The upper level is a bit calmer, but don't fret, there's still the jumping and singing, just with a bit less furver.

Concessions: Don't worry, there are none. You may see a man or two wandering the upper decks with warm Coca-Cola in plastic cups with no ice or straws. You may also find the occasional make-shift grill with frozen "Paty" brand hamburgers. My advice is to eat before or after the match to avoid gastrointestinal problems later. Alcohol is strictly forbidden inside the stadium, so have that pint or two before coming in.

Police: Police officers are everywhere on gameday, though not the usual street patrol you'd see downtown. Game police are the equivalent of riot police, so don't be shocked if they come off as a bit rude or dispondent. The fans typically have a bad relationship with the police, and there's a palpable sense of animosity between both groups. They won't act violent against you, but they also most likely want nothing to do with you. When the game ends, the police keep the home fans blocked into the stadium for 30 minutes as they escort the visiting fans back on buses. Be patient, this is done to avoid rioting and mass brawls outside of the stadium.

Teams: Now, with 24 pro teams in a city, it may seem like an overwhelmingly hard task to pick which team to go see. So use these factors while determining where you want to go: 1)Are they playing at home or away? 2) Is the neighborhood close to me, and safe enough to go to? 3) Are they competitive and will I have a good time? If it makes sense to you, go for it. If this seems a bit too complicated, here are a few recommended teams and games that are more convenient for the short term traveler.

Boca Juniors: Boca Juniors are the nation's most popular athletic team, bar none. They're best known for Diego Maradonna , one of Argentina's most recognizable people, who played for the team in the early 1980's. Boca t-shirts are everywhere in the city, and the stadium is famous for feeling like it moves when the fans jump. You can take a cab (recommended) to the stadium in the La Boca neighborhood, and it's very close to downtown. Also, the very popular Caminito district is a few blocks from the stadium, and is a great place to catch a tango show and grab a bite to eat. Boca's biggest rival is River Plate, and their matches are considered to be the top rivalry games in South America.

River Plate: Where Boca represents the team of the common-man (due to the legend of Maradonna and the La Boca neighborhood), River Plate is considered the team of the upper-middle class. Though this is not always true, the reputation makes for great competition and animosity between each team's fans. River Plate plays in the Nunez section of Buenos Aires. This is by far the safest place to see a game, and the neighborhood itself is worth checking out. Nearby is Belgrano, another nice area, with shopping, restaurants, movie theaters, etc. River Plate stadium is the city's largest and cleanest, and can be reached by many buses or taxi fairly easily.

Independiente: Club Atletico Independiente (C.A.I) is better known by its fans as "Los Diablos Rojos", or "The Red Devils", the team's unofficial mascot. Almost every fan wears red to the games, and some even dress in halloween-esque devil horns and capes. The team has a famous support group, aptly named "Los Diablos Rojos", who make a grand entrance (around 500 people) into the stands carrying red umbrellas while singing and dancing. This is a must-see, and it drives the crowd wild for the opening kick-off of the match. Independiente's stadium is being remodeled, so the team currently plays in the adjacent Racing Stadium. Both stadiums are in Avellaneda, a suburb in southeast Buenos Aires which is fairly accessible, though further than both Boca and River Plate.

Other teams to keep on your radar: San Lorenzo, Hurucan, Lanuz, Velez Sarsfield.

Parks Guide

Don't let the size and structure of Buenos Aires fool you, it's a surprizingly green city. Known for being centrally planned and mostly man-made, the city bosts some of the most green spaces and recreational areas in the world for a city of its size. Whether you're here for a short vacation or an extended stay, here are a few parks which are sure to give you the outdoor fix you need to balance out your urban adventure.

Parque Rivedavia:

Though it's kind of off the beaten path from the towering hotels of Puerto Madero and the posh shopping and restaurants of Palermo Soho, this park is a hit with local residents. The park is gated and miraculously clean, partly because of a dog ban enforced by the city. While there are no athletic fields, it's a great place to catch some rays and lay out in the lush green grass. Fun Fact: The Electronics Feria. This is a daily outdoor market of bootleg movies, MP3 cds, video games, and various computer programs. If you have a moral obligation to copyright infringement, stay away. The average cost per disc is $5 pesos, no questions asked.

Address: Avenida Rivedavia 3800

Jardin Botanico Carlos Thays:

In the heart and hustle of Palermo, the Jardin Botanico truly exemplifies a quality man-made urban escape. Winding paths lead you through lush imported palms and local flora. The paths are quiet, yet safe, and once you've emersed yourself in the center of the park, it's quiet enough to forget you're in the city. It's a great place to bring kids as well. There's a well-maintained giant playground in the park's center. The botanical greenhouses themselves seem a bit inaccessable, however, the greenhouse structures themselves have a vintage, somewhat gothic appeal. Fun Fact: This park is considered one of the best make-out spots in all of Buenos Aires. It's not unusual to see up to 20-30 young Argentine couples locking lips along the secluded paths and shaded lawns. If you're not into PDA, stick to the playground.

Address: Avenida Santa Fe 3951

Bosques de Palermo:

This park has two sides to it, day and night. During the day its one of Buenos Aires largest and most active parks. There are many joggers, rollerbladers, bicyclists, and lounging sunbathers. There's a small lake in the center where people paddle lazily in rowboats and a bus Sunday morning Feria, or outdoor market. Fun Fact: This park is locally known for being the largest Transvestite prostitute meeting place in the city. As local legend has it, the residents of Palermo had a problem with street walkers cruising the streets in their residential neighborhood a few years ago. Rather than tirelessly arresting and patrolling for them, the police gave them sanctuary in the park after dusk.

Address: Avs. Del Libertador, Dorrego y Figueroa Alcorta.

Parque Centenario:

One of Buenos Aires' newly refurbished parks, Parque Centenario is graffitti free, dog free, and safe. It's located in Caballito, a quiet, yet wealthy area which is considered to be the geographical center of the city. Like most parks, there's a large Sunday Feria and ample green space for athletics. There's an amphitheater which holds free concerts in the summer, and a shallow lake with ducks, geese, and fish in the center. Fun Fact: the blocks surrounding the park are home to The National Science Museum of Argentina, The Leloir Institute for scientific research, and the Marie Curie Cancer Hospital.

Address: Aves. Diaz Velez, Patricias Argentinas, Campichuelo, and Angel Gallardo.

Jardin Zoologico:

This 45-acre zoo lies adjacent to the Jardin Botanico in Palermo near Plaza Italia. The zoo is a popular attraction for families and young portenos, and it's convenient location and cheap admission ($8 pesos, $2.60 USD) makes it an easy half-day trip. Aside from the usual animal suspects, this zoo boasts an albino tiger, a petting zoo, and a seal show, as well as other rare and endangered animals which make appearances from time to time. The monkeys seem to be a big hit with the kids, and there's plenty of space between pens so it's not overwhelming while walking around. Fun Fact: There are miniature horses to take pictures with outside of the zoo gate. They are typically decorated in elaborate costumes and wear sombreros.

Address: Avs. General Las Heras and Sarmiento.

Taco Tuesdays

Taco Tuesdays at the California Burrito Company (CBC) are a chaotic mix of funk, food, fun, and two-for-one Margarita specials, all in the heart of downtown Buenos Aires. Though often thought of as a cliche marketing ploy in the 'states, this aptly named night isn't just about discounted tacos. It's a hodgepodge of social networking, drinking, live music, and yes, fantastically authentic SoCal-style tacos.

The idea is to bring in new business with discounted prices and live music. However, it also serves as a multicultural meeting point for some cheap fun on a night where not much is usually going on. Even in a vibrant mega-city such as Buenos Aires, Tuesday is, well, Tuesday.

The space itself is on the smaller side, with a narrow, yet long, dining area and a service area and kitchen in the back. It's set up more like a cafeteria, rather than a traditional sit-down restaurant. There's ample seating space, and when the band plays on Tuesdays, they set up at the front of the restaurant near the street.

Though it's a relatively new business, The CBC on Lavalle draws a steady crowd daily. And it's not just for tourists and American ex-pats. According to co-owner Sam Nadler, the typical crowd at the burrito joint is mostly Argentine. "I'd say that it's usually about 80/20 Argentines to Americans," said Nadler, "tonight (Taco Tuesday) it's about 50/50."

So what's the draw? Well, for starters, it's unique. Mexican food is not particularly popular in Buenos Aires. The Argentine diet differs greatly from the spices, peppers, and tortillas which are the staples of Mexican cuisine. It's not even too far off to say that the CBC could be the only restaurant in Buenos Aires where you can get an authentic Burrito, and one of two places which sell nachos. In fact, a "tortilla" in Argentina is a kind of quiche-like souffle, and a "taco" is a shoe heel.

But much like Sushi when it was first introduced to the US, this Mexican snack food restaurant has a cult following, and it's spreading. There's a buzz in the expat community going on about the CBC which rivals some of the bigger bars such as the Alamo and The Shamrock, typically packed with English-speaking foreigners. The difference with the CBC is that it also has the rare ability to draw locals.

The CBC was founded by Jordan Metzner, Chris Burns, and Sam Nadler. Three guys in their mid-twenties who have been living and working in Buenos Aires since 2005. Metzner and Nadler met at Indiana University's Kelly School of Business, and met Burns after moving to Buenos Aires. They opened the CBC in April 2006, and business has been growing steadily ever since.

The CBC is closed on Saturdays and Sundays, but opens from 8am to 11pm Monday through Friday. And don't think Tuesday is the only day to go. The CBC serves its full drink and food menu all week.

The California Burrito Company is located at Lavalle 411 in downtown Buenos Aires. For more info, see www.californiaburritoco.com

Jeffries Takes Slam Dunk Title: All-Star '08

Update: This tuesday, January 29, 2008, Chris Jeffries won the annual slam dunk competition in Mar del Plata. Jeffries took the prize for the first time in Argentina, and ths second time in South America. He previously won the award in Venezuela last season.

The event, known as "El Juego de Estrellas", is similar to the NBA's all-star game, with a 3-point competition, dunk contest, legends game, and current stars game. The current stars game is played in a foreigners vs. nationals format.

Jeffries' accomplishment adds some encouragement to his team Obras Sanitarius, which has bolstered its position to #2 in the national standings. The regular season resumes in less than a week, so look out for more highlights and scores to come.

My Manifesto on Dating Women...a la 2006 (Italy)

So, I found an old journal of mine dating from December 2003-February 2006. Lot's of journal-esque print. Some of it completely uninteresting. I did, however, find two blurbs I wrote on women at the time. Now, both of these could come off as a bit misogynistic, but it came from the heart and was unedited. I probably got pissed at a girl who blew me off or something...who knows. Anyway, enjoy it in two parts. This first one is called, "My Manifesto on the Complex, annoying world of dating women."

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This is my manifesto on the complex, annoying world of women:

-Always try to make a girl smile. Not forced, but genuine. It's really not that hard.

-Always smile back when they smile at you. A wave is doing a bit too much, unless she waves at you firs.

-Never trust a girl with a raspy voice. Unless, for some reason, you're into that.

-Don't always go for the tall, skinny chick or the most obvious choice. Chances are she's a dullard, and you might miss someone cooler. Stare your eyeballs out at her though. Avoid seeming creepy.

-Tip well when you go out, cheapskate! Any man who drops $100 on dinner and leaves a $5 tip is a selfish prick, and women catch on to that quickly.

-Ask more questions than you answer, even if she's boring.

-Test her level of humor by making an inappropriate joke and gauging her reaction. Apologize for the joke if she's smart and interesting. Tell more if she's a dullard.

-Suggest dancing as a second date. If she's conservative, ask her for coffee...or better yet, don't date her.

-Never kiss on the first date unless she really wants to. Make her believe that getting ass is not that important to you, even though it is.

-Don't ever play video games in front of a girl, EVER. No SportsCenter either, douchebag. Girls are allergic to these things.

-Don't ask the "are you bisexual" question until long after a comfortable friendship has been established. In case the answer is "yes", you don't want to blow it by jumping the gun.

-When you do get some action, give more than you receive. You want to get her hooked early so she comes back for more. Repeat business is essential.

-Always compliment women, even if they say they don't like them. They're lying.

-Always suggest 3 things to do on a date. If things are going well, you won't even notice the time pass.

He Got Juego

Dining at a 24-hour McDonald's in Buenos Aires' wealthy section of Nunez, you'd think Chris Jeffries would stick out like a sore thumb. He does, but no more than the two or 3 other 6'+ tall athletes headed for the brightly lit golden arches on Avenida Libertador. Jeffries' basketball team, Obras Sanitarius de Nunez, just won their 3rd straight home game, and on his way back from the stadium, the 27-year-old small forward from Texas stopped in for a victory burger and some fries.

"You've got to order everything modified, or else they'll give you the sandwich that's been sitting there since last week", said Jeffries, as he made his way through the packed restaurant to find an open table. With a stat sheet in one hand, big mac in the other, Jeffries sat down to talk to me about what it's like to play professional basketball in a foreign country, and what his plans are for the future.

Obras had defeated Ben Hur, Jeffries' former Argentine squad, and secured a tie for second place in the first division. "That's (Ben Hur's former coach) the guy that cut me, told me I couldn't play ball, couldn't shoot the three, and would never make it in this league", said Jeffries gleefully as he showed me his stats. The stat sheet on Jeffries read 16 points, 4 rebounds, and 6 assists. But the star of the night was Lazarro Borrell, the 37-year-old power forward from Cuba who played for the NBA's Seattle Supersonics in 2000-2001. In fact, that night there were a total of 9 foreign players in the game between both teams.

Basketball is not a new phenomenon in Argentina. Though only recognized recently by the casual fan, the South American nation has never finished lower than 12th in FIBA international tournaments, and won the gold medal in the 2004 Olympics, beating out the perennial favorite "Dream Team" of the United States. League basketball in Argentina is also a big deal. While it lacks the rabid fervor of soccer, Argentina's 1st division, or Liga Nacional de Basquet (LNB) has produced a handful of NBA stars, as well as giving foreign players a chance to compete professionally on a high level.

For Jeffries, a Dallas, TX native, being a foreigner is nothing new. Since he graduated college in 2003 he has played for 9 teams in 8 countries. While in high school and college, Jeffries, in his words "kept it low key". He quietly became a star at Washington University of St. Louis, a top-tier academic institution where he majored in Mathematics.

Though basketball was always his passion, academics were always of equal, if not greater importance. In a collegiate sports climate where cheating and illegal payoffs are rampant, Jeffries embodies the exception to the rule. Washington University, much like the Ivy League schools, hands
out no athletic scholarships, and the basketball team at one time boasted a starting lineup comprised of 2 high school valedictorians.

Jeffries' professional career began almost accidentally. "I got a phone call from a guy with a thick Irish accent." Jeffries said, "I couldn't understand what he was saying, so I hung up on him. I thought it was a joke until he called back, and I could make out my name. He told me he wanted me to play ball for him." The man on the phone was the head coach of the Limerick Lions, an Irish professional team.

After that phone call, Jeffries' professional career turned into a whirlwind global tour that took him to Ireland, Uruguay, Switzerland, Spain, Chile, Venezuela, and now Argentina. "If I'm playing, and playing well," said Jeffries, "I want to go to the best team possible." And so far, he has. In Chile his team won the national championship. In Uruguay, he lead the league in scoring, and in Venezuela, he lead the league in both scoring and field goal percentage.

Now in Buenos Aires, Jeffries is trying to make a name for himself and play on the top level of the LNB. But what about the NBA? It's hard not to recognize the glaring differences between the riches and fame of the US pros and those of the Argentine league. An elite player in the LNB ears around $5,000-$8,000 USD per month, which is a substantial salary in Argentina. An elite NBA player, on the other hand, typically earns between $10,000,000-$20,000,000 USD annually, as well as receiving endorsement money and merchandising royalties.

According to Jeffries,"If the NBA thing doesn't work out, it's fine with me. I'll just keep on playing as best as I can. That's all I can do." "I mean think about it", he said as he looked around the crowded McDonalds, "I've had the chance to travel the world, get paid for it, and learn two (Spanish, French) new languages. To me that's amazing."

The LNB is currently on a 2-week mid-season break, and Jeffries' next assignment is the slam dunk competition in the All-Star game, held in Mar del Plata, Argentina. "I'm going all-disco for this one," he said as he showed me his knee-high socks, "the afro's going to make a comeback".

Since the time of the interview, Obras Sanitarius has slipped to 3rd place in the standing, trailing Buenos Aires' Boca Juniors by a narrow margin. The league resumes regular play on February 4, 2008.