10 Things I Hate About...

Buenos Aires. Now don't get me wrong, I love it here. I enjoy living here. I'm enjoying my travels here. However, with any new culture, country, or city, you reach a point of frustration on certain things and just need to vent. Without further adieu, here we go...

10. City Buses. Nothing says comfortable like a 30-year-old cattle car with no shocks, brake dust, and poor ventilation. The routes are confusing, and without many street signs to tell you where you are, it's pretty much a guessing game as to when you should get off. Add 50 people and 90 degree temps, and your lovely trip downtown turns into a gropey steam bath.

9. Siesta. Most people would argue that this is a good thing. Sure, if you think sleeping for 3 hours in the middle of the afternoon is going to pull your country out of 5 year recession, knock yourself out. For the rest of us, it's an inconvenience. Why would you possibly need stores open during, I don't know, normal business hours.

8. Spices. As in, they don't use any on their food. Latin American food has long had the stereotype of being spicy, exotic, and wild. Not here. Meat is spiced with salt. Potatoes are seasoned with mayo, and get this...salt. Hot sauce is almost non-existent, and ketchup is a luxury item. Take England with better cows, and that's the standard Argentine diet.

7. Dogs. There are far too many dogs here. At times it feels like the dog to human ratio is 1:1 . It's not that I hate dogs, I love them. I do, however, hate dog shit covering every street. I hate barking wars between rival factions of stray muts. Or better yet, having those same strays follow you around coughing sickness all over you and staring you down like you're going to be its next meal.

6. Sidewalks. If you walk anywhere outside of downtown Buenos Aires you'd think that there had just been an earthquake. Crooked cobblestones make way for protruding brick and tile, leaving you constantly looking down to avoid falling. Oh, and did I mention the dog shit?

5. The Accent. People in Buenos Aires speak way too fucking fast. They speak an ancient form of Spanish called Catellano, and are basically mocked for that by the rest of the Spanish speaking world. Even a native Spanish speaker would struggle with the nasally rapid-fire dialect they speak down here.

4. Change (money). Many small stores, and some big ones, do not carry change. That's right, no change for bills. ATMs give you 100 peso notes, or if you're lucky a few 50s. Stores won't take these bills unless they're a big corporate chain. The bus sucks up any coin change you may have, and after that, what are you left with? I've actually been told I can't buy a coke ($2.70) with a $5 note because the bill was too big to change. Now that's good for business.

3. Consistency. Inflation's a bitch, I know. Apparently so is maintaining consistent prices, stock, and business hours. Many stores open and close as they please. If they tell you something will be in tomorrow, it could mean next month. Soda is more expensive than beer, and steak is cheaper than red bell peppers. Hmmmmm?

2. Technology. Sure they have modern technology. They have skyscrapers, fancy hotels, wealthy neighborhoods. But generally speaking, most machinery I've encountered either breaks, is in the process of breaking, or looks like it's about to break. We wash our clothes by hand, heat water with a tank and a pilot light that's always off, and the preferred medium for listening to music is the CD player.

1. Arrogance. Argentine people are some of the friendliest people I've ever met. That being said, they have a real problem with thinking that the world begins and ends with their country. Most people I've met here have never left the country, yet they're the first to bash other places. In reality, they're not even the most powerful country in South America (Brazil). Bragging about Argentina as a world power is kind of like saying Nebraska has the world's best sea food. Not only is it not true, but even a 4-year-old could tell you that. I hate to say it, but the women here aren't as hot as they think they are. The steak is on par with the Midwestern US. And unemployment here is hovering around 30%. But hey, the Tango shows are still cool.